I've been teaching yoga seven days a week for more than a year and a half. At one point I was teaching 22 classes each week, seven days a week. I was opening studios with 6 a.m. classes and closing them with 8 p.m. classes. In between, I'd pick up privates and sub extra classes. I was on full-on yoga beast mode and flying! Totally aware of the amazing BLESSING of actually making a living doing what I love. Somewhere along the way, I looked up and realized that I was pretty close to HATING yoga. I had crashed and burnt and was lying there smoldering for some time before I even noticed.
So I decided to lighten my load up a teeny bit. No more 6 a.m.s. I gave up some classes that required more travel and picked up some closer classes. I am now down to a more manageable 18 classes each week and still teaching seven days a week.
My next move is to carve out ONE day per week where I don't teach any classes. This has been a struggle. I love all of my classes and all of my students and all of the people I work with like 99.999 percent; but Sunday seemed a great day to have off - if the Lord rested on Sunday, certainly I should as well!
I've been trying to get someone to pick up my 10 a.m. sculpt class for MONTHS. Apparently, all of these other teachers already got the day of rest memo! Meanwhile, I went to talk to Monica, my angel, my mentor, my role model to give up my 12:30 p.m. Sunday class at LifeTime Warrenville. We sat and chatted for an hour (that's how Monica is! she's so amazing and supportive and just plain interesting to talk to!). When I got up to leave, we had decided to change the format of my 12:30 class to restorative and see how that worked. People are LOVING the restorative class. People NEED the restorative class. In the meantime, I told Stacey Z., the yoga coordinator, that I'd love to get on the schedule during the week and would consider swapping out of my Sunday class.
So, a bit of background here, I am deeply attached to Monica and the LTF Warrenville community because I practiced there five to six times each week before I ever became a yoga instructor. Monica hired me fresh out of yoga teacher training and offered me my very first class - the Sunday 12:30 p.m. class. The fact that she hired me so GREEN, with only an audition and total faith in my potential is unheard of. Monica has built that yoga program into one of the best in the entire nation specifically by hiring rock star teachers with oodles of experience. She took a HUGE chance on me and believed in me and my abilities. Another layer of attachment! I built that class up to 65 students each week at one point! It was my first baby. It means EVERYTHING to me.
So. On Wednesday of this week, Stacey came to the studio a few minutes before my 9:30 a.m. gushing how she had given away my 12:30 p.m. and put me on the schedule on Wednesday during the day. She was super excited (she generally is! lol) and was so happy for ME to finally have one day off. And this is where this attachment thing kicks in......I was PISSED! I couldn't believe she gave my class away! My baby! The class that I've poured my heart and soul into! So I mustered "can we talk about this later" and she went into the studio.
As I walked toward the studio myself to start class, there was a swirl of emotions going on inside of me. I paused to witness what was actually happening. My dear, dear friend Stacey was trying to help me lighten my workload, mainly because I ASKED her to, but also because she cares about me and knows I absolutely NEED at least one day off during the week at this point in my career. I stepped back a bit further and asked myself, So why was I so angry?
And it hit me plain as day that I was angry because a teeny part of me was clinging onto that class to cling onto a part of my life that no longer existed. By teaching that class once a week, I was back at that club, part of that amazing yoga community! But I realized that that part of my life, when I was at that club each weekday on my lunch hour to practice; where I had three of Julian's birthday parties; where I would lay out at the pool all summer ... was over. I wasn't at all angry at Stacey. I was just afraid to admit that things had shifted significantly in my life. And once I understood where those energies were coming from, I felt incredibly light and free.
Stacey was in child's pose in class, and I went to her mat to give her some love and communicate my gratitude and appreciation for her. What a blessing to teach a yoga class in my state of openness and lightness. I received many comments from students after all of my Wednesday classes about the amazing energy they felt. One student even told me he felt "so joyful" practicing that day.
After class, I told Stacey basically everything I blogged here. And she told me to look at it from the perspective of how far I've come and that I am now in a position to give up some classes in order to make time for myself. I couldn't agree more!
So what about that 10 a.m. sculpt class, you may be wondering. Another shift, I am now co-leading yoga sculpt teacher training at Yoga By Degrees. Which means, by next Tuesday, we'll have some ROCK STAR sculpt teachers online and ready to rumble!
So starting in February, my Saturday nights are OPEN! Who wants to take me out to celebrate? 48 Saturdays open in 2015.... text me!
