Last time I was in LA (2009), I was not yet an instructor. So my perspective was definitely a lot different. In 2009, I practiced EVERY single day I was here from City Yoga in West Hollywood (don't think it's there anymore) to Exhale in Venice Beach to YogaWorks in LA and even CorePower in San Diego. Back then, I was OBSESSED with the physical practice of yoga. As my practice has deepened, my perspective has naturally shifted as well.
As an instructor, my obsession with my physical practice has diminished greatly - I no longer measure my own sense of self-worth based on my poses; an illusion (maya) that was very dominant in my life at one point. I find my interest shifting toward my breath work (pranayama) and my meditation practice (dhyana). Oh. And actually getting to my mat to practice!!!
So it was such a checkpoint for me to come back to LA seven years later to observe shifts in my own practice and hence my life.
DISCLAIMER: It's important for me to be perfectly clear that I have the utmost respect for all yogis- we are all in different places on our journey. ANY person that unrolls their mat and takes an opportunity to shine some light into the deepest, darkest places of their psyche and soul and hip flexors has ALL of my respect. This blog is meant to chronicle my personal journey and is not meant to throw shade on any of my fellow yogis. Well maybe a little but only if she had it coming.
So fastforward to 2016. As I'm preparing for my 2016 spring break, I make plans to meet my yoga buddy Danny Sheu for a class. He sends me a link to an article chronicling the "8 Best Yoga Teachers" in LA. So of course, I pick the hottest dude on the list, and we go from there. No need to discuss the irony of the article itself.
I arrive at YogaWorks South Bay (with Julian) shockingly early for class! Danny says he"ll go ahead and set our mats up, so I take a quick walk over to Whole Foods to get my teenager acclimated to the area, since he'll be meandering around on his own for the next couple of hours (90 minute class).
I walk up the stairs and into YogaWorks South Bay and I'm greeted with such a warm welcome from the front desk receptionist. I'm not sure what Danny told the instructor Sean Gray about me, but he told Danny that I should practice as his guest! What a complete honor! Not to mention, I saved $22!
I walked into the studio and it looked EXACTLY like you would imagine a level 3 LA yoga class to look like! Filled with tight, toned, tanned amazing bodies. Predominantly white. Lotsa blondes. Average age of probably 30. There were a few people of color sprinkled into the mix, including Danny, me and some others. They too looked healthy and toned and VIBRANT with wellness. I felt like a fricken rebel in class when my chubby Midwest belly kept popping out of my pants!!!!
I settled onto the mat that Danny had set up for me in a seated forward fold with my eyes closed. It felt amazing to just BE on my mat. I suddenly felt and heard someone loudly smack their mat down next to me. There's an etiquette to participating in a group yoga class; generally being loud, obnoxious and disruptive is frowned upon. oh wait, that's in life, too. I looked up and it was a skinny blond beatch with an attitude. I tried to smile at her (this was after all a YO-GAH class) and she responded by picking up a yoga towel and tossing it OVER MY HEAD onto Danny's mat next to me.
So. Here I was at a crossroad. I'd been in this scenario hundreds of times throughout my life. Different bitch. Same attitude. And except for that one time when I cowered before an older bully in middle school (or maybe BECAUSE of that) I would invariably STAND UP and GET IN A BITCH'S FACE. And trust me, the urge was so strong. But I paused. And I took a deep breath. And I ignored her.
First of all, I was in a GREAT mood and didn't want to give that cunt the power to ruin it for me. Secondly, I was the GUEST of the instructor. And thirdly, is that even a word? I was the guest of my FRIEND Danny. So I let it slide. And then Danny walks in and blondie jumps up and starts gesturing toward me. I interrupted them and asked Danny if we should switch spaces (so I wouldn't be stuck next to that rude hoe.) He said that it was fine and I could see him placating her. Whatevs. I was on my first vacay in two years and my first spring break in four. She was so not worth my time.
So as this grueling level 3 class progressed, I saw that the blond next to me had an absolutely AMAZING physical practice. She was absolutely lovely and graceful and so strong. And it just reminded me that the PHYSICAL practice means NOTHING if it doesn't pierce the layers of ego and pride and self-righteousness. The discipline and dedication it takes to evolve the physical practice is meant to translate OFF of the mat and SPILL into your LIFE. So that you can be beautiful and graceful and lovely to actual people. Yoga is not about nailing a POSE. It's about learning the art of living.
About an hour and some change into class, we started working inversions and backbending, so I dragged my mat against the wall between two lovely yogis. At this point I was almost face to face with blondie who did not need the assistance of the wall. She busted out an absolutely breathtaking scorpion handstand (something I DREAM of one day doing possibly in this lifetime.) The thing about yoga is that the challenge of the physical practice peels away the unnecessary bullshit. So I called out to blondie and told her how beautiful her scorpion was. She responded with the tightest bitchiest whispered pastiche of a smile. Or maybe she just felt gassy from her vegan fiber-rich diet.
Against the wall, the girl to my right and I did our work in a comfortable and pleasant silent camaraderie. Then we started in a backbend facing the wall where we walked up to standing then used the wall to walk back down into backbend. The girl to my right and I were in perfect sync with our first backbend, but as I walked up the wall, she stayed down. I came back down and while we were preparing for round 2, I impulsively looked over at her and said "c'mon girl, let's do this." In perfect juxtaposition, the gorgeous young girl looked over at me and the first words she said were, "OMG, I love you so much right now. I'm so scared to do this." So we did it together and SHE DID IT for the FIRST TIME in her life. We started giggling together and chatting for the next few moments. I was just as happy for her as she was for herself. And Sean even made a comment about the two of us giggling in backbends.
We started the cooling sequence and went into our final resting pose - a well deserved savasana. After class, the young girl introduced herself and gave me the biggest hug. Her name is Helen, she must have been about 21 or 22. She asked me a ton of questions and was so disappointed when I told her I was from out of town. So though Helen does not yet have mastery of some of the more challenging poses, she ventured from her comfort zone and took Sean's level 3 class. She had been intimidated to take that class for MONTHS. And I feel so fortunate that our paths crossed because it was the perfect ending to something that had started out far less than ideal.
I caught up with Danny who introduced me to blondie; I won't call her out by name but she is actually an instructor at the studio where she was practicing next to me AND a "famous" IG yogi! She was extremely cool (ice princess not homegirl) and showed zero interest in actually meeting me. Danny later explained that he had also saved a space for her with his towel (ya know, the one she chucked straight over my head while looking me dead in my face) so she thought that I had stolen her spot. ummmmmm.... ok.
I get it. We all have bad days. We all react impulsively rather than thoughtfully at times. I'm actually glad that little incident happened, because it showed me that I always have a choice in my attitude and response, but there will ALWAYS be an unhappy person who lashes out; there will always be another BEATCH. I know that i have the discipline to take a deep breath and refuse to ENGAGE. Sometimes I can't simply walk away, I was anchored there with Danny for that entire class. And that was my yoga for the day! Maintaining my own equanimity. Still working on sending more love to people like that who probably really need it.
Annica! Annica! Annica! Be happy! Be happy! Be happy!
I walk up the stairs and into YogaWorks South Bay and I'm greeted with such a warm welcome from the front desk receptionist. I'm not sure what Danny told the instructor Sean Gray about me, but he told Danny that I should practice as his guest! What a complete honor! Not to mention, I saved $22!
I walked into the studio and it looked EXACTLY like you would imagine a level 3 LA yoga class to look like! Filled with tight, toned, tanned amazing bodies. Predominantly white. Lotsa blondes. Average age of probably 30. There were a few people of color sprinkled into the mix, including Danny, me and some others. They too looked healthy and toned and VIBRANT with wellness. I felt like a fricken rebel in class when my chubby Midwest belly kept popping out of my pants!!!!
I settled onto the mat that Danny had set up for me in a seated forward fold with my eyes closed. It felt amazing to just BE on my mat. I suddenly felt and heard someone loudly smack their mat down next to me. There's an etiquette to participating in a group yoga class; generally being loud, obnoxious and disruptive is frowned upon. oh wait, that's in life, too. I looked up and it was a skinny blond beatch with an attitude. I tried to smile at her (this was after all a YO-GAH class) and she responded by picking up a yoga towel and tossing it OVER MY HEAD onto Danny's mat next to me.
First of all, I was in a GREAT mood and didn't want to give that cunt the power to ruin it for me. Secondly, I was the GUEST of the instructor. And thirdly, is that even a word? I was the guest of my FRIEND Danny. So I let it slide. And then Danny walks in and blondie jumps up and starts gesturing toward me. I interrupted them and asked Danny if we should switch spaces (so I wouldn't be stuck next to that rude hoe.) He said that it was fine and I could see him placating her. Whatevs. I was on my first vacay in two years and my first spring break in four. She was so not worth my time.
So as this grueling level 3 class progressed, I saw that the blond next to me had an absolutely AMAZING physical practice. She was absolutely lovely and graceful and so strong. And it just reminded me that the PHYSICAL practice means NOTHING if it doesn't pierce the layers of ego and pride and self-righteousness. The discipline and dedication it takes to evolve the physical practice is meant to translate OFF of the mat and SPILL into your LIFE. So that you can be beautiful and graceful and lovely to actual people. Yoga is not about nailing a POSE. It's about learning the art of living.
About an hour and some change into class, we started working inversions and backbending, so I dragged my mat against the wall between two lovely yogis. At this point I was almost face to face with blondie who did not need the assistance of the wall. She busted out an absolutely breathtaking scorpion handstand (something I DREAM of one day doing possibly in this lifetime.) The thing about yoga is that the challenge of the physical practice peels away the unnecessary bullshit. So I called out to blondie and told her how beautiful her scorpion was. She responded with the tightest bitchiest whispered pastiche of a smile. Or maybe she just felt gassy from her vegan fiber-rich diet.
Against the wall, the girl to my right and I did our work in a comfortable and pleasant silent camaraderie. Then we started in a backbend facing the wall where we walked up to standing then used the wall to walk back down into backbend. The girl to my right and I were in perfect sync with our first backbend, but as I walked up the wall, she stayed down. I came back down and while we were preparing for round 2, I impulsively looked over at her and said "c'mon girl, let's do this." In perfect juxtaposition, the gorgeous young girl looked over at me and the first words she said were, "OMG, I love you so much right now. I'm so scared to do this." So we did it together and SHE DID IT for the FIRST TIME in her life. We started giggling together and chatting for the next few moments. I was just as happy for her as she was for herself. And Sean even made a comment about the two of us giggling in backbends.
We started the cooling sequence and went into our final resting pose - a well deserved savasana. After class, the young girl introduced herself and gave me the biggest hug. Her name is Helen, she must have been about 21 or 22. She asked me a ton of questions and was so disappointed when I told her I was from out of town. So though Helen does not yet have mastery of some of the more challenging poses, she ventured from her comfort zone and took Sean's level 3 class. She had been intimidated to take that class for MONTHS. And I feel so fortunate that our paths crossed because it was the perfect ending to something that had started out far less than ideal.
I caught up with Danny who introduced me to blondie; I won't call her out by name but she is actually an instructor at the studio where she was practicing next to me AND a "famous" IG yogi! She was extremely cool (ice princess not homegirl) and showed zero interest in actually meeting me. Danny later explained that he had also saved a space for her with his towel (ya know, the one she chucked straight over my head while looking me dead in my face) so she thought that I had stolen her spot. ummmmmm.... ok.
I get it. We all have bad days. We all react impulsively rather than thoughtfully at times. I'm actually glad that little incident happened, because it showed me that I always have a choice in my attitude and response, but there will ALWAYS be an unhappy person who lashes out; there will always be another BEATCH. I know that i have the discipline to take a deep breath and refuse to ENGAGE. Sometimes I can't simply walk away, I was anchored there with Danny for that entire class. And that was my yoga for the day! Maintaining my own equanimity. Still working on sending more love to people like that who probably really need it.
Annica! Annica! Annica! Be happy! Be happy! Be happy!
