2012

This was my FB post on December 31,2011 as I was preparing for 2012.


2011 - thank you for the memories: the love, heartbreak, redemption, sorrow, joy, accomplishments, fulfillment, gratitude, happiness, laughter, challenges, failures and successes; I won't linger on your memories, for the past is gone. What will remain of you as I continue on my path are the lessons you've given: be true to myself, always; lead with my heart; be present, live in the moment; take risks, it's ok to fail; and I am never alone.

2012 - rather than predict, control or anticipate what you will be to me, as I have done with other years, I pledge to open my heart and mind to you as I watch you reveal yourself; to see you clearly for what you are, not what I wish you to be. To accept the beauty, truth and lesson that you offer with humility and gratitude. To strive for equanimity and non-attachment so that I may love and appreciate all experiences equally, pain or pleasure.To be a positive impact on all those I encounter. To take every opportunity I can to express what is within my heart.To reach for the stars and fly. And to love, love, love.

40

This was a quick FB post on September 19, 2011.


5 days in to being 40 years old - life has never been better!! with each year I have gained more wisdom and appreciation for all of life's blessings! and the realization that happiness is simply focusing my mind on living in the present with love, gratitude, patience, tolerance and humility...in a fabulous pair of shoes (;

On Taking Risks

Why is it so difficult to detach? From things, situations, people. Walking away is always hard because you don't know what lies ahead. Its a big risk!! U could be leaving "good enough" for "way worse"!!!

However, in choosing to stay in a less than ideal, uplifting, nurturing, inspiring situation, fear is your captor. And the greater risk is in never having tried; never having had the courage; and most importantly, never trusting in a higher power and purpose to lead and support you.

It may seem safer to remain in a known environment than risk the possibility of ending up with less than you started with. You may feel more in control of your life and feel you have more certainty and stability. Unfortunately, security and safety are states of mind - intangible concepts that are not guaranteed to any human being walking this earth. We all know life can change in an instant - and the mediocrity that we have been clinging to can be snatched from our grasp, leaving us empty handed.

On the flip side, being willing to trade in all you have and all that you have become for just a shot at the opportunity for true fulfillment, purpose, motivation, passion and freedom seems less of a gamble in the bigger picture! Look at your life backwards; how do you want your children and grandchildren to remember you and eulogize you? What will your legacy be? How will you explain your life to God after all is said and done?

These are some of the questions I have asked myself over the past year as I began my fourth decade here on earth. Others: Are my decisions based on being honest with my inner self, true purpose, God? Or are they influenced by an external source: society, appearances, man's approval?

When you ask these questions of yourself, you must be prepared for the answers! I realized how far removed and polarized from my true nature I had become! My mask has been so tightly fixed on my face that I could no longer distinguish between who I really am and who I was pretending to be.

We are all magnificent, unique manifestations of God's purpose for us. Yet we spend so much time conforming: seeking approval from others, trying to impress them, wanting their acceptance, that we stifle the very uniqueness that makes us special and relevant.

So my journey has led me to exactly where I am destined to be right now. While I cannot predict my future, my security comes from within myself and is not attached to what I possess. As long as I finally and continually listen to my inner voice, I can focus on fulfillment rather than success. I will not look back with regret and longing for what might have been.

And my legacy to Julian will be to look within for your answers; trust in the power, beauty and freedom of your dreams; the only failure is in not trying; find fulfillment through your passion, excitement, wonder and purpose; being you is beautiful.

Social Media Experiment

Soooo... It all started with a BOY!! A super amazing, driven, accomplished, inspired, inspiring man who was for whatever unimaginable reason ... Just not that into me!! Which of course made him even more irresistible! Lol.

So since I am 40 and not 18, I realize that it's much healthier for me to date men who actually are interested in me. NOTE: I am looking for more than good on paper - I need chemistry!! But, of course, looking good on paper is not optional.

So where else can you find out everything you need to know to quickly pre-screen a date than a dating website? Ok, I can already sense you judging me; trust me, I shared your derision of the overall desperate nature of one who has resorted to online dating. That being said, I actually know quite a few happy couples and marriages resulting from online dating, so I tried to go in with an open mind.

I had already joined this particular site a few months prior, but it was such a CHORE wading through hundreds of emails and 'winks' from desperate losers that I had literally let the account languish.

So my experiment was to go on 30 dates in 30 days with the following objectives:

1. Actually go on 30 dates in 30 days!
2. Test the validity of the theory "nothing gets you over the last one like getting under the next one."
3. Find out what kind of people are actually actively on these sites.
4. Is it a good way to meet and connect with people?
5. How honest are people on these websites?

Soooo it took a few days to select potential dates, respond to emails, exchange numbers and actually plan and schedule two dozen dates! It was pretty cyclical and took a lot of time and effort - but the potential good that I am doing for society kept me motivated. Since these are essentially first dates, my approach was to basically get in and get out!!

So here are the stats of the experiment - if I had more time, I would figure out the economic impact of all my dates, but my memory is already fading fast.

24 dates in 30 days
Oldest date: 54
Youngest date: 28
Yoga dates: 2
Coffee dates: 7
Cocktail dates: 12
Brunch dates: 2
Lunch dates: 1
Dinner dates: no way!!
# of guys who lied on profile: 0!
# of girls who lied on profile: 1! I only lied about my age but came clean immediately upon meeting the date
# of guys who I told about the experiment: 3

Soooo what did I learn from this experience?

1. There really are so many amazing men out there who sincerely want to be in a relationship and share their lives with that special someone.
2. The stigma of online dating is unique to those of us who did not grow up with the Internet! The millennials generally have no issues with meeting a date online.
3. Online dating is a viable method for busy professionals to meet and connect with the opposite sex.
4. You cannot judge a person by their stats alone! People have their own stories and in generalizing a certain type, you can really miss out on some interesting personalities beneath the surface.
5. Sometimes there's nothing interesting going on beneath the surface!
6. There are many extremely successful i.e. PAID men who use dating websites
7. Men really really really dig chicks who do yoga
8. I am a pretty good fucking catch!! Lol.

Some fun facts:
No. 5 farted during yoga class, and I could NOT contain my laughter
No. 9 dropped down and did 40 pushups at the bar at Morton's Naperville during a crowded Wednesday night!!
No. 14 and I had actually met at a club back in 2005 and ended up having a late night/early morning breakfast that night. He actually still had my old 312 phone number in his cell phone!!
No. 17 - 54 year old white executive - made me a "mix CD" with Rihanna, Flo-rida, Drake, Nikki Minaj and others!
No. 18 invented roasted nuts kiosks!!
No. 24 is a vegetarian!! 15 years strong and is in unbelievable shape

So the moral of the story: it doesn't matter how you meet someone; what's important is the connection that you make. I honestly can say that I had a great time with each individual and did connect with each one on some level. Approaching people with an open heart and mind as you get to know them is never time wasted. Even if there's no love connection, you have made a new contact and you never know where that can lead or potentially serve you in the future!!

So single people, it was a tough job, but I took one for the team!!! You're welcome. (: