What I Learned from My Uncle's Death

Tempis Fugit, Carpe Diem et Memento Mori

Time Flees, Seize the Day and Remember You Must Die

One of my favorite uncles passed away recently, which served as a reminder to me that we all must die. We tend to not want to think about DEATH - we push it away and pretend that it may just pass over our house. Yet, what could be more natural? We know that anything living must one day die. In this way Death becomes the best and greatest teacher of LIFE.

My uncle was an exceptional man; an immigrant from the Philippines to this country; a husband, father, brother, uncle and friend to so many. A physician that treated thousands, including so many back in his home country that didn't have access to proper healthcare. He served as President of the Philippine Medical Society in NYC for many years. He loved life. He was an accomplished ballroom dancer and dance teacher, even choreographing his daughter's first dance with her husband and the father-daughter dance at her wedding. He was generous and funny and kind and brilliant. The way he lived his life, full and busy and brimming with activity, was exemplary. 

His death became a celebration of his LIFE; it brought much of our family together again, a challenging feat since we are scattered in LA, Portland, Chicago and Manila. It was something that I realized I sorely needed. A homecoming to remember not only my uncle, but to remember who I am and where I come from.

Life carries on, evidenced in the next generation of our family. Within these young souls, we invest our love and our hopes and dreams for the brightness and possibilities of their limitless futures. But we are also reminded that we are still among the living, and until we take our final breath and pass on, we too have endless possibilities with our remaining days.

So attending the wake, funeral mass and cremation of my uncle was of course bittersweet. Saying goodbye to Uncle Manny was a definite reminder of my own mortality and also that of my own parents. But what a blessing to remember to appreciate the days, minutes, moments and breaths that I still have with them.

Having to take some time off also provided me with some much needed perspective of where and how I am spending my precious time and energy, and I am not entirely satisfied with what I am seeing. It literally took someone to die for me to take some time off from teaching. A funeral should not seem like a vacation, but three days off in a row - basically a long weekend - felt like I won the powerball! And I even flew home on Sunday to lead a workshop that same afternoon. 

The irony of a yoga teacher needing to find balance in her own life is not lost on me! Anyone who works their passion to make a living can relate - it becomes a hustle to make ends meet while pursuing what you know to be your dharma, your calling in life.

I've realized it's about TRUST and LETTING GO. Trusting the ABUNDANCE in life rather than getting stuck in that endless frenetic cycle of teaching as many classes as humanly possible to make more money but then collapsing in a heap at the end of the day, totally depleted and resentful.

I'm still learning the art of living from my dear departed Uncle Manny. He definitely worked hard but made family life and simply living his life and pursuing his passions a priority as well.

Tempis Fugit. Carpe Diem. et Memento Mori.
Annica! Annica! Annica! Be happy! Be happy! Be happy!