For years, even before I became a yoga teacher, my name was synonymous with yoga for those who knew me. It was a blessing and a gift for me. I've been told by other instructors that they would literally see me come alive on my mat! I'd walk into the studio in a business suit and high heels with a very serious look on my face; and then this amazing, free spirit would emerge while on my mat. I loved yoga soooooo much. It did make me feel alive; so much so that all of my free time revolved around my practice. Pretty soon, even my work schedule became affected by my ability to practice at some point during the day.
And I was an entirely different person on my mat! Happy, calm, grounded, focused and determined. My practice made me feel STRONG, capable, beautiful, light-hearted, at ease and amazing! So I took a leap of faith and signed up for teacher training. Retired from the public sector. And looked forward to long days practicing and teaching yoga - deepening my physical practice and sharing my passion and the gift of yoga to every single person in the entire world.
So, the first ingredient of yoga teacher burnout (YTB) is to say YES to every single class offered to you! The 6 ams and the 8 pms. Preferably on the SAME day. And to teach SEVEN days a week! It was a slow build, but within my first several months of teaching, I began a 22+ class a week, seven days a week teaching schedule. And I did this for close to two years. I've blogged about the process of Letting Go of some classes as well as how I devolved from Yoga Badass to Yoga Fatass so i won't go into detail on that here.
After teaching a couple of 6 am classes a week for a couple of years and then dropping them, the feeling of pure luxury and contentment in SLEEPING IN on those mornings until 6 a.m. (rather than 4:30 a.m.) is indescribable. Pure, sublime, blissful joy. It feels like the biggest gift ever! Same thing with finally taking Sundays off! Just one single day off during the week is EVERYTHING! So this new, lighter load of classes combined with a single day off during the week became my new norm. And the renewed sense of energy lasted for another year and a half.
Throughout this process, I stopped consistently practicing during my free time. The second ingredient for YTB - not renewing your source of inspiration, light and love. The bloom was faded from the rose. My mat no longer summoned me. In order to rekindle my passion, I committed myself to practicing each day for an entire year! It was my 365 Days of Yoga Journey and I learned so much about myself during that solid year.
So this new leaner schedule, 18 classes taught six days a week afforded me some breathing room. But I was still teaching all day and also evenings. I started finding a little more balance with work and life. But recently, the old burnout began to creep in again. So I gave up some evening classes late in 2015 to give myself Thursday nights off. And last month I gave up two more classes so now I no longer teach on Wednesday nights! And this Saturday will be my first Saturday not teaching four classes since 2012! This extra time and energy in my schedule has again freed up some much needed energy, positivity and released so much tension from my body.
Even though I would get huge chunks of "time off" during the day, it didn't truly feel like free time, as I was still anticipating teaching more classes during the evenings. So it still felt as though I was either teaching or getting ready to teach with still little energy leftover to carve out some leisure time for myself.
One of the biggest reasons full-time yoga teachers have to hustle so hard is because we are paid per class. We are mostly independent contractors, so most of us have no employer benefits such as health care, sick days and paid time off. If I don't work, I don't get paid. So the need to teach as many classes as humanly possible in order to survive in a field that you absolutely love is REAL. But somewhere along the way, chasing more and more classes becomes just too much. You must sacrifice to be able to physically, mentally, emotionally BRING IT each class. My biggest sacrifice has turned out to be taking truly great care of myself. Allowing myself ample time to relax and recharge. Providing myself opportunities to socialize and let my hair down in an environment that has absolutely ZERO to do with yoga. And these sacrifices have taken their toll over the past few years. Third YTB ingredient: not balancing work with the rest of your life.
I am currently down to a mere 14 classes each week, five days a week and only working two weekday evenings. This is my new normal for now. I'm allowing myself to take it light and easy this summer and see how and if my relationship with yoga can be rekindled. The biggest step for me now is to trust in the abundance of the universe to provide for me. Without having to hustle and scrape by.
And the universe does deliver! When I gave up my Thursday evening classes, I was hired to lead a private cleanse. When I gave up my Wednesday evening classes just last month, I picked up a regular weekly private. So important to trust in the abundance of life - and not get caught in the fearful cycle of scarcity. There is enough and even more than that!
So I choose to move from love; love for myself and my well-being. I trust that everything is unfolding as it should! And I commit to using this new time and energy to once again find my inner strength. To create balance for myself. To learn new things. Build new areas of my life. The future is bright!
Annica! Annica! Annica! Be happy! Be happy! Be happy!
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