I was so excited after my intro session to Integral Bodywork; to feel my body more fully and with more awareness is part of the human experience. I also like to think of myself as a badass ... pain is mental; just breathe through it. But... as human beings, don't we spend our lives in the AVOIDANCE of pain? Pain certainly is inevitable, and if I must endure it, I can withstand it like a B-O-S-S. But why, oh why, would I go into a situation where pain is almost a certainty?
This was my dominating thought after completing Session Three. It is legitimately ok to stop after the third session or take a long, long, long break. My body was definitely shifting; I was still experiencing pain in my body, however. Releasing the pain that has been buried has been much more physical than emotional, to my surprise. Yoga has been a pathway for me to pierce through the physical layers and move toward deeper consciousness. I've found that experience has been enhanced greatly by this bodywork. While my body has been shedding physical pain, I have been having more frequent and longer lasting moments of gratitude, joy, Grace and bliss as the emotional release. This was another surprise, as I thought I'd have more crying jags from pain not happiness!
But I STILL needed some er, um, strong encouragement from Everett in order to progress to Sessions Four and Five. He never lies to me. Nor does he try to sweeten the truth. He told me that Sessions Four (S4) and Five (S5), which is really one long, intense session, are the deepest and will be the most challenging for me. It involves work on the inner legs and begins work on the abdomen. The purpose is to free the pelvis from the connective tissues in the legs below (S4) and from the tissues in the abdominal wall above (S5). He said that by the end of Session Five, my entire world will be turned upside down. I would be liberated.
So S4 and S5 are scheduled closely together, because it can be unsettling to release only the bottom half of the pelvis without providing the stabilization of freeing the upper half. The interesting part is that after S4, I had to be up early the next day to teach four yoga classes prior to returning for S5. The makings of a perfect storm...
So days before S4, my body started to get restless. It's like my pelvis realized the inevitability of what was coming. The night before, as always, I couldn't sleep and watched several episodes of Keeping Up with the Kardashians. yea, not my finest moment.
And because life unfolds perfectly, I serendipitously ended up having breakfast with Eunju Choi - that bitch who initially got me involved with this crazy bodywork. (I had this amazing taffy apple french toast!!! mmmmm) Eunju is the most calm, kind person, and it really was just what i needed to prepare for S4.
Well, my body had been experiencing a fair amount of pain between S3 and S4 - mainly my feet, my quadratus lumborum (low back) on the right side and my shoulder on the right side. So my thought was that through physical pain, I was burning away karma and shedding sanskaras. So with that logic, I approached S4 with the thought that it may not be painful; I'd already felt a lot of pain, so no expectations as I got onto Everett's table.
Well. It was such a lovely thought, however, the pain really seems to be intensifying. The best way to describe it is that it feels like the area Everett is working on is already tender and bruised, and then he applies mind-numbing amounts of pressure on the bruised area. In reality, Everett says he is really using lighter pressure, but my pain is on the surface so I feel it more keenly.
This bodywork is very challenging, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally. It requires sharp focus, intense breath work, a great commitment to discovering your truth, and a helluvalot of trust in Everett Ogawa.
So after the usual neck, shoulder, psoas softening, we went for it. Everett worked the insides of both of my legs ruthlessly. So, you can imagine how tender and vulnerable that area is. Now imagine that it was bruised and someone kept pressing into the bruises and making you extend and flex your knee and ankle joints. Heinous. This work is done from the tummy, the back and the sides. It is quite invasive and intimate, especially as he moves up the inner leg. Usually this type of contact is preceded with dinner, wine and maybe even some jewelry or new Jimmy Choos. And it usually doesn't make you want to kick a puppy across the room.
As I am on the table, I always wonder what the fudge I am doing! I say as much to Everett, and he's learned to ignore most of what I spew out on his table. It's never very nice. But then, he'll tell me to move to the middle of the table and breathe. That is the point where I gush at how magical he is. Because the truth is, it does seem like magic. You don't even know that you're not breathing fully and deeply through every cell in your body until you breathe fully and deeply through every cell in your body. Like all of the amazing moments in life, it can't be described; it must be experienced. And truly, we are all spiritual beings having this human experience. And I want to keenly FEEL as much as I can while I am here. Pain facilitates an appreciation of pleasure. It also purifies your mind and your body. It is part of the deal, and it is inescapable and inevitable. But, it also teaches us that we can be HAPPY even while experiencing pain and discomfort and less than ideal circumstances. Because happiness is totally independent of all of those things. It is a clear and conscious choice. And once you make that choice for yourself, it is absolute. Nothing can affect your choice, unless you allow it to happen.
So days before S4, my body started to get restless. It's like my pelvis realized the inevitability of what was coming. The night before, as always, I couldn't sleep and watched several episodes of Keeping Up with the Kardashians. yea, not my finest moment.
And because life unfolds perfectly, I serendipitously ended up having breakfast with Eunju Choi - that bitch who initially got me involved with this crazy bodywork. (I had this amazing taffy apple french toast!!! mmmmm) Eunju is the most calm, kind person, and it really was just what i needed to prepare for S4.
Well, my body had been experiencing a fair amount of pain between S3 and S4 - mainly my feet, my quadratus lumborum (low back) on the right side and my shoulder on the right side. So my thought was that through physical pain, I was burning away karma and shedding sanskaras. So with that logic, I approached S4 with the thought that it may not be painful; I'd already felt a lot of pain, so no expectations as I got onto Everett's table.
Well. It was such a lovely thought, however, the pain really seems to be intensifying. The best way to describe it is that it feels like the area Everett is working on is already tender and bruised, and then he applies mind-numbing amounts of pressure on the bruised area. In reality, Everett says he is really using lighter pressure, but my pain is on the surface so I feel it more keenly.
This bodywork is very challenging, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally. It requires sharp focus, intense breath work, a great commitment to discovering your truth, and a helluvalot of trust in Everett Ogawa.
So after the usual neck, shoulder, psoas softening, we went for it. Everett worked the insides of both of my legs ruthlessly. So, you can imagine how tender and vulnerable that area is. Now imagine that it was bruised and someone kept pressing into the bruises and making you extend and flex your knee and ankle joints. Heinous. This work is done from the tummy, the back and the sides. It is quite invasive and intimate, especially as he moves up the inner leg. Usually this type of contact is preceded with dinner, wine and maybe even some jewelry or new Jimmy Choos. And it usually doesn't make you want to kick a puppy across the room.
As I am on the table, I always wonder what the fudge I am doing! I say as much to Everett, and he's learned to ignore most of what I spew out on his table. It's never very nice. But then, he'll tell me to move to the middle of the table and breathe. That is the point where I gush at how magical he is. Because the truth is, it does seem like magic. You don't even know that you're not breathing fully and deeply through every cell in your body until you breathe fully and deeply through every cell in your body. Like all of the amazing moments in life, it can't be described; it must be experienced. And truly, we are all spiritual beings having this human experience. And I want to keenly FEEL as much as I can while I am here. Pain facilitates an appreciation of pleasure. It also purifies your mind and your body. It is part of the deal, and it is inescapable and inevitable. But, it also teaches us that we can be HAPPY even while experiencing pain and discomfort and less than ideal circumstances. Because happiness is totally independent of all of those things. It is a clear and conscious choice. And once you make that choice for yourself, it is absolute. Nothing can affect your choice, unless you allow it to happen.
So after liberating the lower half of my pelvis, Everett started work on my rectus abdominis muscles and the connective tissues to further free my pelvis. This was not as bad as the inner leg work, and he did a lighter pass as that area would be worked mercilessly in S5, which was in about 24 hours.
After each session, you're supposed to take a hot bath with epsom salt, kosher salt and baking soda to pull additional toxins from your body. On this particular Friday evening, I went to King Spa and saunaed, jacuzzied and soaked out the toxins at their facility preceded by a yummy Korean meal of bulgogi and rice. After Friday evening traffic calmed down, I headed home to prepare to teach my four Saturday classes. This is such a far cry from my former party girl lifestyle!!! Who am I?!??
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