How I Learned to Slow My Flow

As someone with a tendency toward rajastic or Vata dosha (high, transforming energy), I have always been drawn to super hot, challenging vinyasa classes that are fast-paced and leave me drenched in sweat. I'd even add pushups while in backbend to kick it up a couple notches in the 105 degree heat!! Two friends of mine who are yoga teachers recently confided in me that they literally thought I was on cocaine when they first saw me in a heated vinny flow class!! At the time, that would have been the highest compliment! Now, I realize that having a frenetic uberhyper aura is not so much a compliment! Lol. (shout out Rich and Mike!)

I recall in 2009 when Karen Weber in her subtle, gracious way suggested that maybe I should consider a slower, deeper more grounding practice. I remember literally walking away from her because I was just not ready to slow it down. And I love her for her continued support and patience as my journey has led me exactly where she suggested, 3 years later!

But of course I needed those 3 years for transformation, growth, acceptance and introspection. And the truth is, the slower, deeper classes that keep one in basic asanas for an extended period of time were far more challenging for me than the fast flows and advanced poses!

As I seek an equanimous mind, I realize that balance, stillness and calmness are the very qualities that I have been avoiding! Identifying my attachment to chaos and constant movement allowed great insight into my actions. I was subconsciously yet purposefully creating distractions in order to avoid listening to my inner voice. Fear, resistance, uncertainty were all contributing factors to my aversion to being still and opening up to my inner wisdom.

Meditation and yoga have been the key factors in providing myself the sacred and safe space to look within. So far removed was I, that my mind conjured up a spiritual guide to usher me along my path! Babaji has been a constant voice/vision in my inner journey, and until recently, I have been reluctant to reveal his existence for fear of people thinking I am not sane!

Babaji has evolved from his original form and faded into the background, and his voice has transformed itself into my inner voice. He does still make random appearances, however, he's handed the reins over to me now.

In my quest for balance, non-attachment and equanimity, I have discovered how to attain a blissful, relaxed state of mind through a very slow, deep, mindful practice focusing on breathing and poses sustained for several deep breaths. The calming of the rajastic energy is channeled as strength both mentally and physically during the challenge of holding poses for a sustained period. And finding those moments of true balance within a challenging asana, a balance between yin and yang, strength and ease, grounding and flying, is the true purpose of yoga. Those moments are fleeting but so absolutely blissful.

And the beauty is, after a delicious, deep practice, the sense of lightness and buoyancy and bliss is a feeling I can carry off of my mat with me. That amazing feeling can only be described as a natural high; yogastoned; blissedout.

❤❤❤